Menu Mishaps: Birds on a Wire

Um, excuse me?
Sir? Ma'am?
Ah yes, thank you. I'll only take a moment of your time.
You see, we're a group of stray punctuation marks, and we've been waiting here at the airport for a very long time to be picked up by the kind folks at Birds on a Wire.
They took some of our friends, but it seems they've forgotten the rest of us. I knew we should have run faster to make that connection at LaGuardia!
Anyway, we wonder if you might give us a ride into town.
No? Really? Have you seen their lunch entrees? We got an urgent telegram from the pair of hyphens that made it over there, and they're desperate for company. They can't punctuate the whole menu alone! Please help! Someone, anyone?

First victim: Hyman's Seafood (Charleston, S.C.)

Dear Eli and Aaron Hyman,

I think your restaurant is wonderful. The food and service are both excellent. On my latest visit, I noticed something that I think would make it even better.

Your menu has many typos and some inconsistencies that distract from the delicious food it offers. It's not a good reflection of the pleasant experience of eating at your restaurant.

For example: you misspelled the names of several of the celebrities you tout as fans. "Steve Guttenberg" should have a double t. "Ric" Flair doesn't use a k in his name.

Your fish guide was helpful, but had inconsistencies that confused me. I still do not understand the category system.

I'm a copy editor, which is probably why I notice things like this. But even the average person who eats at Hyman's would probably appreciate some improvements to the menu. Your restaurant's reputation deserves a menu of equal merit.

I didn't take a hard copy of the menu (stealing is wrong), but if you send me one, I'd be happy to point out all the things I'm talking about. That way, the next time you need to print menus, you can print great ones!

Thanks for taking the time to listen to a happy customer,

Chelsey Karns

The culprit, Celebrities?